I don't want to go through the motions.

Hey y'all!

I'm going to cut the intro and just get into the post, because this is a really serious topic to me and I've wanted to write about it for a long time, but I can never find the right words.

Why is everybody so sad lately? At first I thought it was just me, then I noticed with almost every single person I see. It started out subtle, but now I notice this..this "thing" (I don't know what to call it..) in almost everyone. Or maybe it's just me, and I'm going crazy and through my eyes I see everyone like this. I'm going to choose to ignore the latter one. Anyway, as I was saying, whatever's going on just doesn't feel right. All of us seem to be emotionally drained, physically strained, short-fused, depressed, angry, and tired. Families don’t get along, kids are exhausted, friendships are dull, conversations are dead, and I’m going to just stop there. Don’t get mad at me for overstepping here.. okay, actually, get mad at me if you’d like, I don’t really care, but I’m going to be honest. I’m going to be as honest as I can.

First of all, I’m angry. I’m just angry at humans (again, myself included) and how we live. (Okay, not like specific humans, just the whole human race in general, and how "life" seems to work. That makes sense, right?) Really, I could fill this whole page with examples, but I probably shouldn’t. See, our lives are filled with anxiety and stress, and our struggles are a result.

Nobody even tries anymore. We live our lives, try to manage things the best we can, maybe we even go to church, or maybe get really involved in our church. You teach a small group, you host get-togethers, Christmas parties, and Bible studies, and you even have weekly coffee with that accountability partner. But your soul is heavy, hurting, and empty. There’s nothing left in you, nothing left of you.

Why do we ignore it?
Why do I ignore it?

We’re too busy. Pre-occupied. See, I always forget what’s real and what’s not. I mean, I forget the real reason I’m here. I forget about God, Jesus, salvation, Heaven, commandments, and all that. My life and my problems just seem so huge! Tests, colleges, pressure, friends, drama, relationships, etc. etc. I get into this mindset that that’s all there is! What more is there to this life than this? It is so, so, so hard to stay focused.

It reminds me of this one night when I went downstairs for something and my dad had the Weather Channel on, it was on some show about strange weather and it was talking about floods. It showed these ants, and when the floods came they piled on top of each other in order to save their colony, and they would stay like that for up to weeks at a time. It was a life-or-death situation for them, it was like some kind of Antmageddon. And I realized how, to them, this is everything. In their little ant holes, that’s all there is. What else is there to life? For all they know, this is it. They don’t know that we’re here, with all of our “human” problems. And, how are we any different from the ants? I mean, we don’t pile on top of each other like a raft in order to save our colony because, well, there’s too many people in the world for that. Duh. But there is something bigger above us! Something that we can’t even wrap our minds around, and we don’t even try to do anything about it because 1) we are scared. And 2) We are pre-occupied.

Scared because, well, what if we actually have to get up and do something? What if we have to change? And we're scared because we don't want to stand out. We all want to fit in, right? Nobody wants to embarrass themselves. I don't know about y'all, but I happen to have a terrible fear of embarrassment. But, at the same time, the fear of doing nothing is overwhelming.
And we’re pre-occupied because of life. We don’t have enough time for everything on our schedules, we have too many things going on, we are distracted, and overwhelmed. Our bodies and minds are so overwhelmed, yet our souls are so deeply underwhelmed.

We just go with the flow of life. Like Matthew West's song, "The Motions". This song has always spoke to me. In it, he says "What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions" and "help me fight through the nothingness of this life". Can you see how this relates to what I'm talking about? I urge you to, at some point, take a quick listen to that song. Just click the title of the song up above and it will take you right there.

To fight this so called "nothingness", we have to really be intentional about it. See, my mama always told me about being intentional. In every life scenario, I needed to be intentional. And in order to inspire life change, we have to be intentional! That means that we stop sitting around waiting for something to happen when we don’t do anything to actually make that thing happen. Like, say you really, really want and need rain, and you know you need to pray about it and make your requests known unto God, but you ignore it and hope for the same results still. Or, it’s like desiring a daily bible study, feeling eager to explore His Word every single day, but never actually sitting down, planning, and coordinating a time to do so, but we still expect the same results (I am so guilty of this one). If we are not intentional, nothing will ever happen! If the ants were not intentional about taking action to survive the floods, they’d all float around and eventually drown! They'd all die because they didn’t care. And because they didn't care, they didn’t do anything. They were unintentional.

In order to embrace change, we have to be willing to take action.

Without any intentional actions, there will be no change.

Life, here on earth, kind of sucks. It has wonderful moments, don’t get me wrong, but you all know what I mean. But we can’t allow ourselves to be content just floating along with it. To escape this dull, emotionless, draining, sad life, we have to acknowledge it and change it. As Christians, we are supposed to be the ones that step up and redirect the path. And we don’t achieve that by sitting around and doing nothing. 

I wish I could have all the answers, and I wish that this was some incredible piece of life-altering advice, but it's not. I wish it didn't sound all convicting and preachy, but it sort of does. This post is probably a jumbled mess of my thoughts, but, hey, at least they’re honest, right?

Thanks for reading along,

Faith

What to ask (and not ask) kids

Hi there!

I thought this might be a fun topic to address. I know the title implies I'm writing specifically about kids, but, really, it's appropriate for teens and older kids alike.

As a teen, there are a lot of thing that bother me, but this was one thing that I could actually do something about. I present, the two worst questions (in my opinion) that we ask kids (And how to avoid them).
Oh, I should clarify, I meant how to avoid the bad questions, not how to avoid kids. Sorry to get your hopes up.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Chances are, we've been asked this since we were old enough to talk. And, if you're like me, your future job changes about every month or so. I feel like almost every kid, at some point or another, wants to be a veterinarian. Am I the only one that notices this? I can't be the only one! Okay, that aside, it's rare to find a kid, or even a teenager, who actually is sure of what they would like to pursue later in life. I (finally) have narrowed my options down, but I'll never be definite. And that's okay! So, it really frustrates me when people ask what you want to be when you grow up. First of all, there are so many different ways to word this! To ask what you want to be when you grow up does not even have to relate to a career, what I mean is, when I "grow up" I want to be kind, I want to be gentle, and patient, and a Christ-serving wife and mother. That is all I want to "be".
Other questions that might be more straight-forward would be things like,

• "Do you have any plans for the future?"
• "Are there any specific careers or fields that interest you?"
• Or, if the child is younger, "What kind of things would you like to do/accomplish when you're older?"
•  "If you could have any job right now, like a grown-up, what would you choose?". 

Maybe I'm the only one who has a problem with this, or who sees any difference in these questions, but I hope it might help somebody, somehow. Personally, I feel like just a little tweaking in the question can help a child think and develop their realm of interests in a different way. Not in a bad way, just a little different than what we are usually taught to do. Or this is all crazy and stupid, that's okay, too.

"How was your day?"

So, I don't go to public school now, but that doesn't mean I avoid these types of questions. Whether it's referring to school or some other activities, let me guess, in most cases it goes like this: 

"How was your day?"

"Fine." (Or the occasional "Good.")

The end!

I guess it's just such an overused, cliche phrase that no one really knows how to answer it anymore. There's better ways to ask, and different types of questions, too. Such as...

•  "Did you learn any cool facts today?"
•  "Was there anything that made you laugh or smile?"
•  "What are some things that challenged you today?"
•  "Did you do anything nice for somebody today?" (Or did anybody do anything nice for you)
•  "If you were a teacher, what would you teach your class about, and why?" 
•  "Did anything really cool (or funny, scary, etc.) happen?"
•  "If you could choose a theme song (or an emoji) to describe your day, what would it be?"
•  "If you could re-live this day, what would you change?". 

Pretty much, the point is, almost any question is better than "how was your day?". And, maybe, when we start asking kids questions like these, they'll start looking for ways to answer on their own. Like, searching for ways to do something nice for someone during the day. 

~

Okay, yeah, I know I'm just a teen myself, so why am I giving this kind of advice? Mostly, it's because I'm tired of being asked these questions ever since I was little, so I'm trying to change something. But it's more than just questions, because the biggest thing that anybody can do is listen. Whether it's kids talking to each other, parents talking to kids, or any other situations, the worst thing any of us can do is show the other person that we don't care. Like, by being on your phone, for example. 

I hope this may have helped in some way, thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your feedback, and maybe even some questions you like or don't like to ask (or be asked).

Faith

Let's Talk About Today. (And why we shouldn't talk about tomorrow...yet)

Hey y’all! I’ve honestly been anxious to write something, but several things have put a halt to the process. First, writer's block. Typical. Second, the fluuuu. I sit here on the couch in the middle of my cozy little pillow kingdom with a heating pad on my stomach trying to type these words out without getting too dizzy. Apparently this cold and flu thing has started going around. Yay for winter!  (Did you sense my sarcasm there?)

Okay, enough about me, let me show you this really cool piece of Scripture.

“Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34 ESV

I like to look at this one in a few different versions. Here’s the King James Version:

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” KJV

While I might not suggest always reading in the KJV, it can be beneficial to look at it as a reference. It often shows you things that the other versions softened a bit. In Matthew 6:34, for example, all that stuff about “the morrow” can be confusing. However; The last verse includes something that the ESV does not (Nor does the NIV, HCSB, ASV, or any other version I have seen). It talks about the evil thereof. The other versions use the word “trouble”. Very close, yes, but when I first read the KJV I saw something different. When I read “trouble” I saw something reflecting my own trouble. Something that I inflict upon myself. When I saw “evil”, I saw the world. This reminded me that our worries are vast and wide-spread.

This reminded me that my worries are vast and wide-spread.

I don’t think about my own worries, I mean, I do, but that’s not all I think about. The evils and the troubles of our world, too, weigh heavy on my soul.

And God doesn’t want it to be that way. Right here is a commandment telling us so. See, if we fill ourselves with the stress, worries, and evils of the future, suddenly there’s no more strength (or faith) to face what we have before us today. Corrie Ten Boom says it best:

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its struggles, it empties today of its strength.”

We cannot fulfill our purpose for right now, if we are consuming ourselves with what we are going to do in the future. We’re humans, and there’s not enough strength for such a thing.

And that’s okay!

That has to be okay.

We have to let it be okay.

I wanted a metaphor about this verse. Maybe it’s irrelevant, I don’t know, but it helps me. After sitting here (still surrounded by all those pillows on the couch) and came up with nothing, it was time to call in the reinforcements. a.k.a, mom. She could make a metaphor out of anything, I’m telling you. When I shared with her Matthew 6:34, she said it reminded her of the saying “Enough light just for the step I’m on”. The way I saw this, If life is a staircase, each day is a step. Trust me, if we could see the whole staircase, at least for me, I would stop right in my tracks, park my booty on the step i’m on, and refuse to move. Too scary. Too many worries, too much evil. Instead, look at each step. Each day. Don’t allow yourself to light up any more steps. Focus on today and serve God today with what you have.

And that’s enough!

That has to be enough. 

We have to let it be enough.

The reality is, tomorrow is not guaranteed. I’m not advising you to drive off a cliff or canoe over the grand canyon or even rush anything prematurely just because you’re living in the moment. Be wise, but be obedient. It can be wise to prepare myself for tomorrow, for the future, but I’m not being obedient if I’m allowing that to consume and overwhelm me. Is this making any sense?

Thanks for reading along, friends.

Faith

Be ever so salty.

Hey y'all! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Today I want to share with you a word of truth. Matthew 5:13. This is a short one, but honestly those are my favorite kind of posts.


Matthew 5:13 "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost it's taste, how shall it's saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet."

Have you ever seen those bumper stickers that say, "be salty"? Cause I've seen quuuiitee a few. I knew it had some biblical reference but honestly I never sure of the exact verse or meaning. I knew it was about being a light in the midst of darkness. Only, salt, instead of light. So, wouldn't that make pepper like darkness? 'Cause that's what I'm going with.

And if that's the case, we live in a very peppery world.

So much pepper that, sometimes, it's hard to taste the salt.

So be salty.

Be salty in a very peppery world.

To be salt is to be a light. To reflect Christ in a world that rejects him. When everything is consumed by ungodliness and darkness, dare to stand out. We must stand boldly, though. If we stand on a shaky faith, the pepper will start to mix in with our salt. The darkness will start to overcome us.

It's scary, too. We are sheep among wolves (Matthew 10:6). We are pure, holy, and innocent sheep among dark, worldly, blood-thirsty wolves. If we aren't strong in our faith, we won't be able to weather the storm. We won't be able to hold out against the darkness.

Then our saltiness is peppery and what do we do with that? It's no longer salty..our faith is no longer alive...it is worth nothing but to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. Arm yourselves continually with God's word. Don't let pepper take away the taste of your salt. Be salty in a very peppery world, my friends.

Faith

I'm really fine. Really.

It's been almost two months since I last posted. If I knew then, when I wrote that last one, where I'd be right now, I probably would not believe it. A lot has changed. A new "About Me" describes it all in more detail.

I guess a lot of folks care about me. Cause I can't leave the house without three thousand people asking me how I'm feeling. (Slight exaggeration there.) Don't get me wrong, I so very appreciate that people do care. Sometimes I just don't know how to answer, and I know that they want more than just "I'm fine, thanks". Don't take me the wrong way, I want to talk, just not about that. Really, I just want to feel like everything's normal without having to explain all that's going on. Or perhaps if nobody said anything at all, I'd feel like no one cares. See how confusing this is?

But, really, I am fine.

Really.

Things are getting better. The future looks good. And I'm hopeful.

We're figuring all of this out, and mostly we're recovering from everything that's happened in the past few years. Sometimes we aren't ready to talk about it. It can stir up a lot of emotions. And that's normal. That's okay.

The amount of formula that I was getting fed every night was too high, I got sick. We reduced it and are continually adjusting it to find what works best. Like I said, we're figuring all of this out. So when I was asked how things were going, I really wasn't prepared to explain all of this. "I'm fine, thanks" seemed to sum it up pretty well in my opinion. If I started going into detail..well, your head tilts, your eyebrows rise, I can tell you are filled with confusion because I'm just not able to talk about it in an efficient way. My emotions get mixed in, I get confused, then I just want to leave. But, really, I do appreciate that you love me and care about me.

I'm trying to figure out what comes next. In a way...I don't know how to be normal. I'm so very used to being sick. I'm ready for things to change, but I'm worried I won't know what to do. I have so many dreams and plans that I can finally pursue. It scares me. It's a good scary. A new one.

If you have questions, ask me. But there's a different way to go about asking it. If you want to know about the feeding tube, ask me. You won't offend me. If you want to know how we're adjusting to a new routine, just ask. I'll tell you. I don't know how to respond to vague questions like "How are you feeling?". If you just want to talk, tell me. I'll talk, I'll tell you what you'd like to know. Maybe I'd even enjoy that.

See, when I'm trying to answer these questions, I don't know what you're asking for. I'm feeling good, that's always going to be the answer. If you want to know if I've gotten sick, ask me. Ask me if we're seeing improvement, ask me if there's any complications, ask me how things are going with the doctors, ask me about my plans for the future, once I'm healed. Ask me how my family is doing, if there's any restrictions with the tube, if it makes life easier or more difficult, ask me what the future plans are for my care, whatever you want to know, ask me.

If you ask me if there's anything I need, or anything you can do for me...most of the time, there isn't. Maybe because I don't always know what you're asking about. I'm not in the hospital, so we're good on meals, I don't need any materialistic things either. Whatever you think I might need, ask me. If you want to talk with me, seriously, ask me. If you just want to hang out, maybe cause I haven't been super social lately, tell me. If you want to hug me or tell me something, don't be afraid. I like hugs (Most of the time). And if you really want to do something, and find out what's been going on at the same time, ask me if there's anything you can pray for. There probably is something. But if there's not, that's okay too. That shows me more than anything that you care.

Thanks for reading friends. Have a wonderful Christmas.

Faith