What to ask (and not ask) kids

Hi there!

I thought this might be a fun topic to address. I know the title implies I'm writing specifically about kids, but, really, it's appropriate for teens and older kids alike.

As a teen, there are a lot of thing that bother me, but this was one thing that I could actually do something about. I present, the two worst questions (in my opinion) that we ask kids (And how to avoid them).
Oh, I should clarify, I meant how to avoid the bad questions, not how to avoid kids. Sorry to get your hopes up.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Chances are, we've been asked this since we were old enough to talk. And, if you're like me, your future job changes about every month or so. I feel like almost every kid, at some point or another, wants to be a veterinarian. Am I the only one that notices this? I can't be the only one! Okay, that aside, it's rare to find a kid, or even a teenager, who actually is sure of what they would like to pursue later in life. I (finally) have narrowed my options down, but I'll never be definite. And that's okay! So, it really frustrates me when people ask what you want to be when you grow up. First of all, there are so many different ways to word this! To ask what you want to be when you grow up does not even have to relate to a career, what I mean is, when I "grow up" I want to be kind, I want to be gentle, and patient, and a Christ-serving wife and mother. That is all I want to "be".
Other questions that might be more straight-forward would be things like,

• "Do you have any plans for the future?"
• "Are there any specific careers or fields that interest you?"
• Or, if the child is younger, "What kind of things would you like to do/accomplish when you're older?"
•  "If you could have any job right now, like a grown-up, what would you choose?". 

Maybe I'm the only one who has a problem with this, or who sees any difference in these questions, but I hope it might help somebody, somehow. Personally, I feel like just a little tweaking in the question can help a child think and develop their realm of interests in a different way. Not in a bad way, just a little different than what we are usually taught to do. Or this is all crazy and stupid, that's okay, too.

"How was your day?"

So, I don't go to public school now, but that doesn't mean I avoid these types of questions. Whether it's referring to school or some other activities, let me guess, in most cases it goes like this: 

"How was your day?"

"Fine." (Or the occasional "Good.")

The end!

I guess it's just such an overused, cliche phrase that no one really knows how to answer it anymore. There's better ways to ask, and different types of questions, too. Such as...

•  "Did you learn any cool facts today?"
•  "Was there anything that made you laugh or smile?"
•  "What are some things that challenged you today?"
•  "Did you do anything nice for somebody today?" (Or did anybody do anything nice for you)
•  "If you were a teacher, what would you teach your class about, and why?" 
•  "Did anything really cool (or funny, scary, etc.) happen?"
•  "If you could choose a theme song (or an emoji) to describe your day, what would it be?"
•  "If you could re-live this day, what would you change?". 

Pretty much, the point is, almost any question is better than "how was your day?". And, maybe, when we start asking kids questions like these, they'll start looking for ways to answer on their own. Like, searching for ways to do something nice for someone during the day. 

~

Okay, yeah, I know I'm just a teen myself, so why am I giving this kind of advice? Mostly, it's because I'm tired of being asked these questions ever since I was little, so I'm trying to change something. But it's more than just questions, because the biggest thing that anybody can do is listen. Whether it's kids talking to each other, parents talking to kids, or any other situations, the worst thing any of us can do is show the other person that we don't care. Like, by being on your phone, for example. 

I hope this may have helped in some way, thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your feedback, and maybe even some questions you like or don't like to ask (or be asked).

Faith

Let's Talk About Today. (And why we shouldn't talk about tomorrow...yet)

Hey y’all! I’ve honestly been anxious to write something, but several things have put a halt to the process. First, writer's block. Typical. Second, the fluuuu. I sit here on the couch in the middle of my cozy little pillow kingdom with a heating pad on my stomach trying to type these words out without getting too dizzy. Apparently this cold and flu thing has started going around. Yay for winter!  (Did you sense my sarcasm there?)

Okay, enough about me, let me show you this really cool piece of Scripture.

“Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34 ESV

I like to look at this one in a few different versions. Here’s the King James Version:

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” KJV

While I might not suggest always reading in the KJV, it can be beneficial to look at it as a reference. It often shows you things that the other versions softened a bit. In Matthew 6:34, for example, all that stuff about “the morrow” can be confusing. However; The last verse includes something that the ESV does not (Nor does the NIV, HCSB, ASV, or any other version I have seen). It talks about the evil thereof. The other versions use the word “trouble”. Very close, yes, but when I first read the KJV I saw something different. When I read “trouble” I saw something reflecting my own trouble. Something that I inflict upon myself. When I saw “evil”, I saw the world. This reminded me that our worries are vast and wide-spread.

This reminded me that my worries are vast and wide-spread.

I don’t think about my own worries, I mean, I do, but that’s not all I think about. The evils and the troubles of our world, too, weigh heavy on my soul.

And God doesn’t want it to be that way. Right here is a commandment telling us so. See, if we fill ourselves with the stress, worries, and evils of the future, suddenly there’s no more strength (or faith) to face what we have before us today. Corrie Ten Boom says it best:

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its struggles, it empties today of its strength.”

We cannot fulfill our purpose for right now, if we are consuming ourselves with what we are going to do in the future. We’re humans, and there’s not enough strength for such a thing.

And that’s okay!

That has to be okay.

We have to let it be okay.

I wanted a metaphor about this verse. Maybe it’s irrelevant, I don’t know, but it helps me. After sitting here (still surrounded by all those pillows on the couch) and came up with nothing, it was time to call in the reinforcements. a.k.a, mom. She could make a metaphor out of anything, I’m telling you. When I shared with her Matthew 6:34, she said it reminded her of the saying “Enough light just for the step I’m on”. The way I saw this, If life is a staircase, each day is a step. Trust me, if we could see the whole staircase, at least for me, I would stop right in my tracks, park my booty on the step i’m on, and refuse to move. Too scary. Too many worries, too much evil. Instead, look at each step. Each day. Don’t allow yourself to light up any more steps. Focus on today and serve God today with what you have.

And that’s enough!

That has to be enough. 

We have to let it be enough.

The reality is, tomorrow is not guaranteed. I’m not advising you to drive off a cliff or canoe over the grand canyon or even rush anything prematurely just because you’re living in the moment. Be wise, but be obedient. It can be wise to prepare myself for tomorrow, for the future, but I’m not being obedient if I’m allowing that to consume and overwhelm me. Is this making any sense?

Thanks for reading along, friends.

Faith

Be ever so salty.

Hey y'all! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Today I want to share with you a word of truth. Matthew 5:13. This is a short one, but honestly those are my favorite kind of posts.


Matthew 5:13 "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost it's taste, how shall it's saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet."

Have you ever seen those bumper stickers that say, "be salty"? Cause I've seen quuuiitee a few. I knew it had some biblical reference but honestly I never sure of the exact verse or meaning. I knew it was about being a light in the midst of darkness. Only, salt, instead of light. So, wouldn't that make pepper like darkness? 'Cause that's what I'm going with.

And if that's the case, we live in a very peppery world.

So much pepper that, sometimes, it's hard to taste the salt.

So be salty.

Be salty in a very peppery world.

To be salt is to be a light. To reflect Christ in a world that rejects him. When everything is consumed by ungodliness and darkness, dare to stand out. We must stand boldly, though. If we stand on a shaky faith, the pepper will start to mix in with our salt. The darkness will start to overcome us.

It's scary, too. We are sheep among wolves (Matthew 10:6). We are pure, holy, and innocent sheep among dark, worldly, blood-thirsty wolves. If we aren't strong in our faith, we won't be able to weather the storm. We won't be able to hold out against the darkness.

Then our saltiness is peppery and what do we do with that? It's no longer salty..our faith is no longer alive...it is worth nothing but to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. Arm yourselves continually with God's word. Don't let pepper take away the taste of your salt. Be salty in a very peppery world, my friends.

Faith

I'm really fine. Really.

It's been almost two months since I last posted. If I knew then, when I wrote that last one, where I'd be right now, I probably would not believe it. A lot has changed. A new "About Me" describes it all in more detail.

I guess a lot of folks care about me. Cause I can't leave the house without three thousand people asking me how I'm feeling. (Slight exaggeration there.) Don't get me wrong, I so very appreciate that people do care. Sometimes I just don't know how to answer, and I know that they want more than just "I'm fine, thanks". Don't take me the wrong way, I want to talk, just not about that. Really, I just want to feel like everything's normal without having to explain all that's going on. Or perhaps if nobody said anything at all, I'd feel like no one cares. See how confusing this is?

But, really, I am fine.

Really.

Things are getting better. The future looks good. And I'm hopeful.

We're figuring all of this out, and mostly we're recovering from everything that's happened in the past few years. Sometimes we aren't ready to talk about it. It can stir up a lot of emotions. And that's normal. That's okay.

The amount of formula that I was getting fed every night was too high, I got sick. We reduced it and are continually adjusting it to find what works best. Like I said, we're figuring all of this out. So when I was asked how things were going, I really wasn't prepared to explain all of this. "I'm fine, thanks" seemed to sum it up pretty well in my opinion. If I started going into detail..well, your head tilts, your eyebrows rise, I can tell you are filled with confusion because I'm just not able to talk about it in an efficient way. My emotions get mixed in, I get confused, then I just want to leave. But, really, I do appreciate that you love me and care about me.

I'm trying to figure out what comes next. In a way...I don't know how to be normal. I'm so very used to being sick. I'm ready for things to change, but I'm worried I won't know what to do. I have so many dreams and plans that I can finally pursue. It scares me. It's a good scary. A new one.

If you have questions, ask me. But there's a different way to go about asking it. If you want to know about the feeding tube, ask me. You won't offend me. If you want to know how we're adjusting to a new routine, just ask. I'll tell you. I don't know how to respond to vague questions like "How are you feeling?". If you just want to talk, tell me. I'll talk, I'll tell you what you'd like to know. Maybe I'd even enjoy that.

See, when I'm trying to answer these questions, I don't know what you're asking for. I'm feeling good, that's always going to be the answer. If you want to know if I've gotten sick, ask me. Ask me if we're seeing improvement, ask me if there's any complications, ask me how things are going with the doctors, ask me about my plans for the future, once I'm healed. Ask me how my family is doing, if there's any restrictions with the tube, if it makes life easier or more difficult, ask me what the future plans are for my care, whatever you want to know, ask me.

If you ask me if there's anything I need, or anything you can do for me...most of the time, there isn't. Maybe because I don't always know what you're asking about. I'm not in the hospital, so we're good on meals, I don't need any materialistic things either. Whatever you think I might need, ask me. If you want to talk with me, seriously, ask me. If you just want to hang out, maybe cause I haven't been super social lately, tell me. If you want to hug me or tell me something, don't be afraid. I like hugs (Most of the time). And if you really want to do something, and find out what's been going on at the same time, ask me if there's anything you can pray for. There probably is something. But if there's not, that's okay too. That shows me more than anything that you care.

Thanks for reading friends. Have a wonderful Christmas.

Faith

Let's all be positive

Hey y’all! It’s been a while (Over a month, to be exact), I know. Things have been crazy for me. One day I feel great, almost normal, and the next day I’m confined to my bed for I’m in so much pain. Crohn’s Disease is a vicious thing, my friends. I covet your prayers during this time.

Also, as you can see, in all faithfulness has yet another new look. I’m trying to change things around to include more topics (As you can see in all the little tabs above.) and I just cannot figure out a look to go with it. I’m not sure how much I like this whole navy chevron design, so don’t be surprised if it changes again. I’m open to comments and suggestions.

Moving on, I haven’t been sure what to write about. I wanted to write something related to what I’ve been going through recently, but I just got stuck. Sometimes I feel like when I write these, I’m writing to myself more than anything. And I love that I have the opportunity to share my words with others, so that they might be encouraged as well.

Today, however, I want to talk about something that helps me in all aspects of my life. In some ways I have to be thankful for Crohn’s, for it has opened my eyes to so much that I would have never even dealt with before. Positive thinking, for example.

Okay, okay, so I’ve known for a very long time the significance of positive thinking and how our attitudes greatly affect the outcome of our lives. But...well, it hasn’t been until just recently that I actually decided to start using this power, I always thought it was weird and honestly it all kind of annoyed me. The mind is an incredible tool, capable of so much more than we realize. Just look at the thoughts of someone who is, let’s say, depressed. They consume themselves in “doom & gloom” type of thoughts, always negative and hardly optimistic. Then compare this to someone who tries to stick to an attitude of “everything will be okay”, “This will all work out”, and they consume their thoughts with positivity and build up around themselves a stress-free and calm environment. People like to look to them and say “Well, everything just works out for you.” When, really, it could be the same for us all. The mind has the power to build up or destruct the body. And as I am desperately searching for the road to healing, I constantly remind myself “The mind can heal the body”. And, now I really do believe it. The mind can heal the body. It’s all through perspective, attitude, and (no matter how cliché it sounds), the power of positive thinking.

I’m currently reading a book, “Don’t give up, don’t give in” by Louis Zamperini. He is a great inspiration to me, especially as I read about what great trials he endured, but all the while still came out on top. He talks a lot in his book about positive thinking. While talking about his grandfather he says, “He taught me that by holding on to anger and bitterness, I would only hurt myself. He often told me that the most important thing I should remember was to “have a cheerful countenance at all times.” No matter how grim your situation is, whether you’re lost at sea, or just having a bad day, keeping a positive, cheerful attitude is the key to your own survival.”

To add to that, Proverbs 17:22 says “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” And I love this verse because it paints a vivid picture of a joyful, positive spirit, in contrast to a crushed, negative one.

A positive attitude all-in-all helps us cope with every day scenarios in a much less stressful way. And, seriously, I could go on and on in little details, or I could be blunt and tell you that keeping a positive outlook will pretty much make your life a lot better. It’s easier to tackle each day, easier to seek God in the midst of it all, and don’t even get me started on how your attitude affects those around you.

Oh, wait, it’s too late. Now I’m already getting started on the topic. But, seriously, we all know what it’s like to be around that “Bah humbug” personality. It starts to seep its way into your mindset, too. Grumbling, complaining, worries, fear, stress, anxiety, anger, depression, need I go on? However; can’t we all agree that a positive attitude is highly contagious? Maybe I’m the only one who finds great joy from being around those with an optimistic outlook. It lifts my spirit, whereas negativity only weighs it down. Dries up my bones.

It’s a hard habit to get in to, positive thinking. But once you start – it’s addicting. That sounds weird, I know... but it can transform your life. Sometimes things are so dire that all we want to do is cry and curl up in a little ball and wish the world to go away. Changing your way of thinking can change the circumstances around you. Or at least change the way you feel about them. And sometimes that can make all the difference.

I can’t wrap my mind around God’s creation. The mind and body are just so complex...I can’t even begin to fathom it. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the mind is more powerful than we ever realize. No matter your circumstances, there is always hope to turn things around. The mind is an incredible tool.

Thanks for reading along,
Faith